


This Is How I Disappear

by seer_pimini



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Extreme angst, Gen, Oof this is dark, Virgil gets bitch slapped, Virgil says fuck, a lot of emotional damage, but I’m kind of not, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 12:36:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16765291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seer_pimini/pseuds/seer_pimini
Summary: Inspired loosely by the song “This Is How I Disappear” by My Chemical Romance.Logan is tired of feeling inadequate and decides just to leave the others. They want him to stay, but he definitely had other plans. A lot of angst ensues and everyone is hurt emotionally or physically by the end.





	This Is How I Disappear

Logan was done. He just was. There was nothing else he could think of doing. He just had to get away. Away from being a joke. Away from being the least favorite. Away from Roman.

And wasn’t it Roman who came up with the name for the people Logan was now going to? Now dear Princey was the one who had driven Logan to join them.

If he could find Deceit, he could just say out loud he was done. He just had to avoid all the others, which should’ve been easy as it was the middle of the night.

Unfortunately, Logan forgot to take one thing into account: the fact that one of the other sides had a habit of wandering around at night.

In front of Logan, a door slowly opened. Virgil was trying to be sneaky as he darted out of his room, but was taken off guard by the logical side.

“Lo? What are you doing up?” Virgil whispered, his eyes slightly wide.

“I could ask the same of you.” His tone was cold.

“Aren’t you the one who went off on Roman about the importance of getting enough sleep?”

At the mention of Roman’s name, Logan glared. “I have important things to do tonight.”

“So important you go against your beliefs to do it?” He looked in the direction Logan was heading. “No, you’re going to see him?”

Logan didn’t respond. He wasn’t the one that lied a lot. He just shoved Virgil out of the way and sprinted.

“Logan!” The anxious side shouted off after him. He got up and tried to run after the other, but he was too tiny and out of shape to catch up.

When he was sure he had thrown the other off Logan slowed down. He felt tears come to his eyes. No, he didn’t feel emotion. Right? Besides, if the other sides didn’t seem to care that much about him, why should he care if he hurt them?

Before he could even reach Deceit, he found it hard to walk. He couldn’t move and he didn’t know why. Was it possible he really did care about what he did to Virgil?

He heard footsteps behind him. Great, Virgil had caught up. Then he realized there were two set of footsteps. Three. He looked up and saw the blurry outline of exactly the last people he wanted to see.

“Logan?” Patton asked softly. “What’s wrong? What are you doing?”

“That doesn’t matter.”

Patton’s mouth dropped open at the coldness in Logan’s voice. He whispered something Logan couldn’t hear. Finally, he spoke louder again. “What did you say?”

“What I’m doing is no longer any of your business.”

“‘No longer’?” Virgil repeated. “I knew you were leaving.”

“I am.” Logan stood up taller. “And you can bring up whatever great times you’ve had with me but it’s changing nothing.”

“You can’t.” This time it was Roman speaking. “You can’t just... leave us. We need you!”

“Apparently not enough.” He snapped. Softer, he added, “especially you.”

Roman had a determined look in his face. “Then I’ll go with you.”

“No. You of all people, no. I’m going alone, and living without having to deal with any of you guys. Ever.”

He turned around so quickly he almost could have missed Roman burying his face in his hands and beginning to sob. It was okay though, because he had Patton to cheer him up. Unlike what Logan could ever do for anyone.

He started walking away again, but gasped as he felt a hand grab him and stop him. He glanced back to see a very, very pissed off Virgil. 

“You. Aren’t. Going. Anywhere.”

Logan tried to jerk free of him. “Yes I am.”

Virgil finally lost his cool. “Do you see what you did to Roman? He went on about how much he cared about you and what you thought of him. And now you’re saying you want nothing to do with him? YOU MADE HIM FUCKING CRY.”

Logan looked directly into the other’s dark eyes. “I don’t matter to any of you guys so who cares what I do? If I can’t ever help you and all I am is a bother, I’ll show you how much of a bother I can be.”

“Don’t. I was going to say we loved you and wanted you to stay, but I can see the one we learned to care for is gone. You’ve sunk down too far. Please, for your sake, start acting like Logan again.”

“I’ve sunk down too far? You don’t know how far I can still go. Now let go of me and let me leave. Then I won’t be able to hurt you anymore.” With those words, Logan broke free of Virgil and kept running.

If he had looked back, he would’ve seen Roman crumpled on the ground, completely losing it. If he had looked back, he would’ve seen Patton desperately trying to comfort his friend. If he had looked back, he would’ve seen Virgil, sitting where Logan had left him, watching him leave with horror in his eyes. If he had looked back, maybe Logan would’ve had the heart to stay after all. But he didn’t look back.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this is my first thing on this site. It took me a while to write so I hope it’s good even if it hurt people. I probably made a thousand mistakes but I don’t feel like looking through it all again. Sue me. I’m used to writing from Virgil’s perspective instead of Logan’s, which may cause some things to seem a bit off. Please don’t murder me for hurting your children.


End file.
